Saturday, November 2, 2013

Happy Birthday, Sophie

This is another birthday gift story (obviously). Unlike most of my stuff, this was proofread and edited a bit to improve it. Uh, enjoy. A few of the references might not make sense? And I've removed the last name, replacing it with... S.

Happy Birthday, Sophie

                It was an average day in the grand hall of S. Sophie – the mighty slayer of dragons, evil overlords and the occasional cake – was relaxing in her trophy hall, admiring the evidence of her remarkably high number of valiant deeds. Yes, she thought, I am simply the best at being a knight.
                Her live-in boyfriend, Josh, wandered in. “I’m heading out honey. I’m going to hang out with the clerics, maybe cast a few spells,” he said. Josh was a sorcerer of significant power, although his day job involved more paperwork than spell-casting. He was close friends with two clerics from the local church – they’d often combine their magics to create some truly amazing spells.
                “Aww,” said Sophie. Both of them worked all week (Sophie training a couple of dozen squires up to be the next generation of brave knights), and she had been looking forward to spending the weekend with Josh. They had spent some time together for her birthday a few days before, but Sophie was hoping they’d spend the weekend together too. It wasn’t like birthdays happened every week!
                Before Josh had a chance to respond, a great cloud of smoke exploded between them! Sophie could see a dark shape in the smoke, and as it cleared she saw a tall and mighty lady-knight fully encased in black armour standing there!
                “HA HA HA!” yelled the knight, her voice ominously deep and booming. Most evil knights made their voices sound that way with magic – it helped them scare people senseless with fear.
Josh was quick to react started to cast a spell immediately, but the knight reached him before he had even half cast it! Her sword still sheathed, she reached out her arms to grab him. Despite Josh’s attempts to fend her off the knight easily caught hold of him.
                Recovering from the shock, Sophie rushed to Josh’s aid as the knight slung his struggling form over her shoulder. But before Sophie could reach him the knight suddenly shimmered and faded away into thin air! All that remained was an echo of the knight’s wicked laugh.
                “Ugh!” grumped Sophie, slowing down and stomping up to where the knight had vanished. There was nothing there at all – no trace of what had just transpired.
                As Sophie wondered what to do next, a loud pop came from behind her. She whirled around and saw that a small scroll was sitting exactly where the knight had appeared just moments ago. It too was surrounded by smoke, although a far smaller cloud this time.
                Sophie picked up the scroll and read it. It said,

                Sophie,
HA HA HA! I, the dark knight DARKKNIGHT have kidnapped your boyfriend! If you ever want to see him again, come to the abandoned windmill tonight!

                HAHAHA,
                                DARKKNIGHT.

                Sophie had never heard of ‘DARKKNIGHT’ before. Considering how… Strange the name was, she was also pretty sure that it wasn’t the knight’s real name. In fact, given that it was exactly the same as the words right before it (‘dark knight’) the knight had probably thought it up on the spot! That was pretty weird, even for an evil knight.
                Hmm, thought Sophie. That armour looked familiar too. But nobody I know wears black armour. It’s too, well, evil looking. Maybe it’s someone I’ve defeated before? And the teleporting means that she has magical help – a sorcerer maybe? I thought Josh was friends with all the sorcerers in the kingdom…
                 Despite her confusion over the strangeness of what had transpired, Sophie knew she had to rescue Josh. She spent the rest of the day readying herself – she put on her best armour, sharpened her blade, and packed a post-victory dinner for Josh and herself. Late in the afternoon, as the sun dipped low in preparation for the night, she was ready.

                The walk to the mill was a long one, and Sophie neared it an hour after the sun had set. She worried greatly that she would be too late. What if DARKKNIGHT was not a woman of her word? Sophie pushed the thought aside. She would do her best.
                As she crested the hill that looked down upon the old mill, Sophie saw some dark shapes obstructing the path up ahead. She squinted, taking a good look. She recognised the creatures – They’re protector spirits! DARKKNIGHT does have a sorcerer helping her! she thought. Sophie found thinking ‘DARKKNIGHT’ pretty strange. It seemed kind of stupid to have a name capitalised like that.
                There was no time to waste circling around the spirits via the woods – and there would almost certainly be more spirits hidden in the woods anyway. So Sophie drew her sword and charged forwards, yelling “I am the very best!” It was her battlecry. She was the very best knight, something no-one in House S had been before her.
                The spirits made horrible screeching noises as she charged, their forms shifting from relatively harmless blobs into wicked goblin-like monsters. Sophie’s blade tore through two with her opening strike, causing them to break apart into a fine spray of quickly disappearing black mist. The rest lashed out at her, their phantasmal spears clanging onto her shield noisily. She stepped back gracefully then ducked forwards under the attack of the closest spirit – she sent her blade plunging through the creature’s magical heart.
                It exploded, spraying rapidly fading black magic in every direction. The remaining three spirits continued to attack, but the nigh mindless creatures were no match for Sophie’s skill at arms. She dispatched them quickly – a swift slash, a cunning cut, and a heavy hack were more than they could counter.
                A smile crossed Sophie’s face as she sheathed her sword, the remnants of the spirits fading away around her. A nice warm-up, she thought, continuing along the path to the mill. No trace of the protector spirits remained in her wake – they were no more, their sorcerous energies having dissolved away into nothingness.
                The mill towered above Sophie. It was dark and ominous at night despite having been a bustling workplace only two years ago. Although no longer used, the mill still looked ready to work; time had not yet worn down its façade. Sophie pushed open the mill’s big double doors, ready for anything as she stepped inside.
                There were two people in the large room that took up almost all of the mill’s ground floor. DARKKNIGHT stood in the centre of the room, her dark blade drawn and ready for battle. On the ground in front of her was Josh, trussed up like a pig and looking very embarrassed about it. Sophie snorted as she cut off a giggle – of course Josh was embarrassed about getting tied up like that, rather than worried about his kidnapping!
                Sophie cut off her sigh at Josh’s priorities and drew her blade. She locked her helmeted opponent with a cold, steely gaze. It had sent shivers down the spine of many – those locked by it often felt cold enough to turn blue. “Show your face, ‘DARKKNIGHT’!” yelled Sophie.
                The shoulders of her opponent twitched a little – out of anger, perhaps? The knight lowered her blade, and placed one hand on her helmet. “Know this, Ma’am S – when you gaze upon my face, you shall receive a true shock!” the knight’s magically deepened voice boomed.
                Sophie merely intensified her glare. With a soft shrug, the knight grasped her helmet and pulled it free. Beneath it, Sophie saw…
                One of her friends?! “Claire?!” Sophie yelled, confused. They were close friends – when had she gone evil? Also, rather than looking evil at all, Claire was… Grinning happily?
                Half laughing, Claire yelled out, “Happy birthday!”
                “Huh... What?” said Sophie, her glare vanishing amidst her confusion.
                All of a sudden the inside of the mill lit up, magical lights flickering on all across the ceiling. Out from the shadowy corners of the room stepped all of Sophie’s friends! Everyone was smiling, grinning or chuckling, and together they yelled “Happy birthday Sophie!”
                Claire cut Josh’s bonds, and Josh (still looking quite flustered) waved his hand at Claire. The black colour of her armour immediately faded, returning to its normal silvery shade. “Happy birthday, honey,” said Josh. He clicked his fingers, and tables of food (including one with a very large, very slayable cake) appeared.
                “Oh, wow,” said Sophie. “Thanks guys!” Her worry had already evaporated, replaced with excitement. Josh stepped up to her and hugged her tight.
It was the best surprise birthday party ever. Josh had really outdone himself.

                And Sophie slayed the hell out of that cake.

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