Vin Gents

Vin Gents

                It took a while for Protagonist to wrap her head around it, but apparently Witch was able to hear – if she wanted to – what people called other people. Sort of. Everyone had different names for everyone, or something like that, except you could always tell who meant who. Witch was able to tune into the words actually being said, instead of what she was meant to hear, so she could tell what people thought of each other. Though apparently it was more complicated than that.

                For example, Narcissist called himself ‘the great and mighty’. Yet Commander called him ‘annoying prat’ and to Witch he was ‘self-obsessed villager’. Hero and Heroine called each other ‘love interest’.

The complications began with the stranger names. Traitor was apparently called ‘traitor’ by everyone except herself. Witch claimed that this was a bit of the future – that Traitor would, eventually, turn traitor. Protagonist wasn’t really sure why it was weirder than people referring to each other by different names all the time.

Names would also change from time to time. In particular, Witch was hoping that Traitor’s would change to something less ominous. Protagonist didn’t even try to wrap her head around how that would work. Witch unfortunately had no examples of it actually happening – she’d only learnt it from her master.

“So what do you call yourself?” Protagonist asked after Witch finished her explanation.

“Extensive training allows me to use only my true name,” said Witch. “But you will not hear it – neither part is an ordinary word. The closest to saying it one can come is ‘magic’.”

“That seems appropriate,” said Protagonist. “If we’re all running around calling each other traitor and narcissist and so on.”

“I have my suspicions that there is a similar, hidden effect upon our true names,” said Witch. “Though I have only heard one other – my master’s, which was very close to sorcery.”

“This is a bit too complicated and silly for me,” said Protagonist.

Witch smiled at her. “It flies further over the heads of most of my companions. Except for Heir,” said Witch. “He is a promising heir.”

“Hey, do I call Heir heir? That’d be funny,” said Protagonist.

“Strangely enough, yes,” said Witch.

Protagonist laughed a little, and then noticed that Witch was looking at Protagonist with rather intense curiosity. “Um, does that mean something?”

“Perhaps,” said Witch. She stroked her chin thoughtfully, and stuck her pipe back into her mouth. “Protagonist,” she muttered; as if saying Protagonist’s name to herself alone. “Yes, it might just. Excuse me a moment; I wish to talk to my companions.”

Witch’s smoke-beast stirred and almost leapt forward, jumping her ahead to Hero and Heroine instantly. Immediately they struck up a conversation – Protagonist was pretty sure it was about her. What had Witch called her that she’d just heard as Protagonist?

After Witch hurried off Protagonist didn’t feel like starting another conversation. The world’s – well, region’s according to Witch – naming being anything but ‘this is a person’s name and I call them it’ was kind of a mind blowing concept. Especially since no-one knew or noticed. It could just be a joke if Witch had a sense of humour. She might have one, somewhere.

The group rode, and rode, and rode. Protagonist was really getting the hang of keeping in time with the up and down motion of the horse, which was making the ride comfortable and a little dull. The fields and trees they made their ways through were mostly empty; only the occasional animal hiding away before they passed. They were still relatively close to Town so the countryside was boringly similar to what Protagonist had seen many times before. The occasional raider tracks Protagonist spotted weren’t really enough to liven things up.

Watching Witch bustle around, talking to the other members of her party and then the villagers, mildly entertained her. She couldn’t really be checking what everyone thought of Protagonist, could she? The conversations were too short for them to be about the strange, complicated name thing, though.

The sun was getting low in the sky when the group finally finished travelling cross-country and reached Bridge Road. Witch was chatting with Hero and Heroine again after making her way through the entire party.

“Slow up,” called out Hunter, quickly bringing the party to a stop. “That’s their camp just over the bridge.”

Up ahead Protagonist could barely see what Hunter was pointing out. Just past the bridge there was a faint blob of light and a scattering of shapes that looked like tents – or at least more like tents than trees.

“Have they seen us?” asked Commander, sidling his mount up beside Hunter.

“No scouts that I can see,” said Hunter. “But we have to cross at the bridge – if we get seen crossing the river we’re dead.”

Commander nodded. “I have a plan, but we need to get to the bridge first,” he said. Raising his voice, he added, “Gear up everyone – armour and shields.”

Hero, who had joined Commander and Hunter at the front of the party said, “Oh, so you do have armour?”

“Of course,” said Commander. He seemed to be fighting back a sigh.

Protagonist zoned out of their continuing conversation as she headed to the rear of the party, where the packhorses were tied up behind Blacksmith. The rest of the villagers also converged there – Swordswoman took it upon herself to distribute the leather armour and shields out to everyone.

“Sorry it’s not quite one size fits all,” she said, “but there should be something close enough for everyone. There might not be a cap large enough for Narcissist’s head.”

The armour Protagonist was given seemed too big and bulky for her, but with a padded under layer and a few straps tightened it was just about a perfect fit. She felt well protected, which was a good enough reason to wear slightly ill-fitting armour. She hadn’t realised before, but a couple of parts of the jacket had patches of thin metal scales sewn on the inside to provide additional protection.

Protagonist remounted her horse before taking her shield, and sat with shield and spear in hand. She felt kind of like a badass. Charging in would probably be fun, as long as nothing went horribly wrong. Thinking of the fight itself set her heart racing.

Once everyone was armoured and back on their mounts the entire party converged on Commander. He looked each of them in the eye slowly and said, “I hope you’ll all make it through this.

“We’re going to make our way through the trees off to the side of the road so we can get a bit closer without getting seen. When we’re close enough, Witch will fill the air with smoke. That’s our cue to get onto the road and start travelling along it. We’ll have about two minutes until the smoke clears, so that’s how long we have to cross the bridge.

“The raiders aren’t stupid so some of them may head into the smoke to fight us. Don’t get caught up for too long, and keep your shields up in case they take some potshots at us. Hero and Heroine – you guys are in front. My men and I will be with the rest of your party, and the others will take up the rear. Witch will join us after she’s finished making the smoke.

“You guys”- Commander indicated Protagonist and the other villagers -“try not to get into the thick of it. The prisoners are on the camp edge against the river – get to there and release everyone. We’ll find the Good Harvest Bringer when the raiders are dead. Any questions?”

“Yes,” said Narcissist, “Why can’t I fight up the front? I’m a damn good-“

“Because you’re far less armoured,” said Commander. “If you had plate mail I’d stick you in the front as well, regardless of skill.” Narcissist made a sulky face but didn’t say anything else.

“Sounds fine to me!” said Hero, breaking the momentary silence. He pulled his helmet from between his knees and stuck it on his head.

Heroine did the same. “Shall we start moving, then?” she asked.

Commander nodded. “Alright. Follow me into the trees,” he said, nudging his horse into motion.

                Making their way through the scattered trees didn’t feel very stealthy. They covered only half the distance to the bridge before Protagonist could see the raider camp again. Now that she was closer she could see the tents, and even some little raider blobs wandering around. How Hunter had seen enough to know where the captives were from so far mystified Protagonist – even this close she could barely see the cluster of tied up individuals and the obvious guard-blobs.

                Despite the party feeling very visible, no alarm was raised in the raider camp until the party had reached much closer – almost four fifths of the way to the bridge. Faint shouts came from the raider camp as the little blobs began to rush about. “To the road!” ordered Commander – the first words spoken since the group had entered the trees.

                Everyone except Witch quickly guided their mounts onto the road and the majority (including Protagonist) raised their shields immediately. Protagonist snuck a glance back at Witch – the magician had her pipe out of her mouth and seemed to be coughing. Probably clearing her throat for a spell, thought Protagonist.

                Then, amidst the coughs, came a puff of smoke. A larger one followed, and then Witch puckered her lips around her pipe and took an incredible breath in. When she began to breathe out her breath came out as a huge cloud of smoke – and she didn’t seem to be stopping. Within moments a huge cloud of smoke had obscured Witch and was coming straight for the road.

                Holy crap, thought Protagonist. That’s amazing.

                The smoke swept across the road, hiding the raiders and everything else from sight. Protagonist gave it a sniff – it’d didn’t smell like anything. It certainly acted like smoke, though, rather than fog or anything else. It obscured everyone else almost completely.

“Be damned, get your shield up!” yelled Commander. Protagonist couldn’t see the culprit, but someone had definitely not raised their shield.

                “Shouldn’t we charge?” asked Hero loudly.

                “They’ll be shooting arrows just ahead – we need to wait until they can’t see at all,” said Commander. He was whispering to Hero, but the sound was carrying well. “And be quiet, or they’ll know where to shoot anyway.”

                Protagonist was pretty sure she caught Hero grumbling something rude about Commander getting intimate with goats in reply. A handful of clattering noises as arrows hit the bridge just up ahead served to underscore Commander’s point.

                The edges of the bridge came into sight on both sides through the smoke as fuzzy black shapes. It was really weird; the smoke had darkened the sky but enough of the sun’s light was coming through to illuminate the smoke as a mass of grey – and everything Protagonist could see nearby was a darker, black shape.

                About halfway across the bridge a new dark shape came into view up ahead – a person sized, and person shaped, one. “Now we ride!” yelled Hero excitedly, kicking his mount forwards and surging ahead. Heroine did the same a moment later, letting out a whooping war call. A shadowy blur of Hero’s sword tore through the dark shape. The shape tumbled to the ground, dead.

                Just up ahead Swordsman turned his head to Commander. Probably a quizzical look; he did those well. “Yes, this is part of the plan,” said Commander. He turned his head forwards, and two moments later yelled, “Charge!”

                The militia and the rest of the hero party kicked their mounts into action, as did Narcissist and Obsessive. The rest nudged their mounts into a canter as the charging group disappeared into the smoke. Sounds of battle could already be heard up ahead – and yelled numbers. It seemed Hero and Heroine were having a competition.

                Protagonist realised that the smoke was clearing – she could faintly see the charging group heading into the raider camp proper. Raiders seemed to be everywhere, charging towards those entering the camp. She could faintly tell who was who – Commander and the rest of the militia were holding together in a tight group, and the heroes were…

                The heroes were incredible. One of them – probably Heir – was knocking aside the blades of two opponents at once with a rapier. Traitor and Ruffian had hopped off their horses and were fighting side by side, two raiders already dead at their feet and the three attacking them on the defensive all at once. Further on she saw a dark female shape approach another and fell it with a single stroke. Heroine’s yell of “Three!” came right after.

                As the smoke continued to clear up the target of the four villagers came into sight – the captives and handful of raiders who’d held back to guard them.

Suddenly and arrow flew past Protagonist – from behind her. “Sorry about that!” said Hunter immediately. “I’ll stay here and take some shots; deal with the guards!”

Protagonist levelled her spear and kicked her horse into a gallop. Immediately it became very hard to stay mounted – but she didn’t need to stay on long. Blacksmith and Florist rode alongside her, spears levelled as well. The raiders up ahead split rather than taking the charge, scattering away from the horses.

                Rather than rein in her horse to stop as the other two villagers did, Protagonist guided hers around the prisoners – spotting and smiling at Spouse as she went – and charged one of the raiders on the other side. He hadn’t been expecting her to come right around but he still got out of the range of her spear – or so he thought. Protagonist hurled her spear with all her strength right at him.

Her spear tore right through him, killing him instantly. Protagonist slowed her horse as much as she could and leapt off, rolling to her feet beside her spear. With a satisfied smile she pulled her spear free, a bit of raider coming with it.

Looking around she caught sight of a raider rushing right at her, sword in hand. Her attacker looked absolutely furious and also oddly similar to the raider Protagonist had just killed. Perhaps they were brothers?

Taking advantage of her attacker’s rage, Protagonist dropped down and stuck the base of her spear into his path. He couldn’t stop himself in time and ran right into the spear, toppling over onto the ground. Protagonist was back on her feet immediately and buried the sharp end of her spear into the raider’s back. He screamed in pain and writhed on the ground. A follow up jerk made stilled him.

No other raiders were coming at her yet, but back on the other side of the prisoners Blacksmith and Florist had wound up outnumbered. They were just barely holding back three of the raiders despite being on horseback. As Protagonist took the scene in, an arrow suddenly appeared in the flank of one of the horses.

The horse reared up with a pained whinny. Its legs lashed out wildly as it reared, and iron-clad hoof caught one of the raiders on the head, knocking her out. Protagonist snorted in amusement, and moved on to a giggle as she heard Hunter’s voice call out, “Sorry!”

Still lacking an opponent Protagonist ducked in amongst the cluster of prisoners. Immediately she began cutting the ropes tying their hands and feet to stakes hammered into the ground.

“Oh, Protagonist!” said Spouse, leaning in her direction. “It’s so good to see you!”

“Working, Spouse,” replied Protagonist. “Just keep an eye out, okay?”

Spouse nodded, and immediately started looking around for trouble. It was probably kind of adorable; Spouse got that way in awkward situations when he tried his hardest. Protagonist felt a pang of regret at missing it but she had to keep cutting.

“Thank you so much,” said the woman whose bonds she’d cut first. Protagonist didn’t know who she was – she’d just been the closest.

“Grab a weapon and-“ began Protagonist, as she shuffled over to the next captive.

“I can’t fight!” said the woman emphatically.

“And help me cut everyone free, for fuck’s sake!” grouched Protagonist.

“You best do what she says, she can be a bit nasty when she’s angry!” added Spouse.

“Not now, Spouse!” replied Protagonist, almost cutting herself when her spear slipped through part of the rope. Distractions and knifework… thought Protagonist.

Sufficiently chastised, Spouse kept his mouth shut as Protagonist quickly sliced through the rest of the bonds. The woman she’d freed had acquired a sword from one of the raiders Protagonist had killed and then made a complete mess of cutting someone else free – they weren’t cut free until the woman Protagonist had freed second showed up with another sword.

Protagonist cut Spouse free last. He leapt on her immediately, wrapping his arms around her and almost wrapping his gut around her spear. Cutting him free last had certainly been the right idea.

“Thank you!” he said, hugging her tightly.

“Maybe hug me after the rescue is done?” said Protagonist awkwardly. “There’s a guy who wants to stab us both to death less than ten metres away.” Protagonist indicated the two raiders who were still fight Blacksmith and Florist with her head.

“Oh, right,” said Spouse. “I’ll cheer you on!”

Smooth, thought Protagonist. After checking behind the prisoners – none of whom seemed very inclined to join the fight – for raiders, Protagonist charged forwards to help Florist and Blacksmith out.

“No help?” asked Blacksmith, incredulous. Protagonist shrugged briefly, then brought her spear to bear as one of the raiders turned to take her on.

The other raider dug her sword into Florist’s horse, killing it instantly. “Fuck!” yelled Florist, falling to the ground. Blacksmith immediately moved to help Florist, leaving Protagonist facing the other raider alone.

Her opponent was a scrawny man of about her height. He was wielding two weapons; an axe in one hand and a short sword in the other. His mouth formed a grin as he ran at her, swinging the axe wildly.

Protagonist took a step back and then a step forwards, positioning herself on the side the man had left open with his wild swing. Having recognised what was coming she dodged his sword as it sprung from beneath his arm in a stab.

With his arms foolishly crossed the raider was in no position to stop Protagonist from jamming her spear into his guts. After piercing the leather the spear just kept on heading in – the raider had obviously elected not to wear anything under his armour at all. With a confused look and a grunt, the man dropped his weapons and went limp. Protagonist’s spear came out just as easily as it had gone in.

Blacksmith had managed to dispatch the raider she and Florist had been fighting; although somehow her horse was dead as well. The air around them had cleared almost fully, allowing Protagonist to see the entire camp. Dead raiders were everywhere, and dead non-raiders… Nowhere. A couple of the militia seemed to be tending to wounds (in particular, a lightly wounded but hollering Narcissist), but no-one was dead.

“You’re a beast with that spear,” said Florist. He stared at Protagonist’s spear in admiration. “I saw you stick those two raiders – that was an amazing throw.”

“It was kinda stupid, though,” said Blacksmith. “You only have one spear.”

Protagonist smiled awkwardly. “You’re right,” she said.

“You were amazing!” yelled Spouse, hugging Protagonist from behind.

“Thanks dear,” said Protagonist.

Commander’s voice cut clearly through the diminishing din. “Prisoners to me, everyone else look for the artifact now!” he yelled. “That includes you hero types!”

Protagonist detached Spouse’s arms from around her waist. “You better go see him before he gets grumpy,” she said. “And I better start looking for the artifact.”

“’k,” said Spouse, bustling off with a smile. He waved his arm forwards and called out to the other prisoners – who had been hanging around aimlessly – to, “Come on!”

                “So. We recovered the artifacts and there were no deaths, a couple of minor injuries, and the raiders weren’t of the Terrible People,” said Commander. “This has gone very well. If I retired today I’d retire well.” He smiled and straightened up. “Mostly thanks to your help.”

                “We are honoured by your thanks,” said Heroine. She was smiling as well – Protagonist found it kind of off-putting how radiantly beautiful she was. Especially given how deadly she’d been in the fight earlier – apparently she and hero had killed six raiders each. “We thank you in turn for helping us recover what we were after; and for your cunning strategy.”

                “Any fight’s a good fight. Uh, if you’re in the right,” added Hero. “I mean, it was great to fight beside you for a good cause. You and your fellow townspeople make great warriors.” Traitor and Ruffian nodded along with everything the heroic duo said.

                “Especially you,” said Heir, pointing straight at Protagonist. “I’m impressed! I only got two of the bastards.” Protagonist smiled.

                “You have my thanks as well,” said Witch. She pulled her pipe across her mouth, shifting it from one side to the other so she could hold it in her other hand. “You have done the entire land a service in aiding us; a greater service than that you thank us for.”

                Commander looked at his fellow villagers, mounted alongside him (mostly on horses retrieved from the raiders). “I think we’re all honoured to have helped,” he said.

                “Make sure we’re in the story when a bard writes it!” interjected Narcissist.

                Commander sighed, and most of the group chuckled. “It is time for us to part ways – we hope to reach Big Farm before midnight,” said Commander.

                “And we wish to reach Neighbouring town tonight or in the morning,” said Hero. He held out his hand. “Perhaps I’ll – or even we’ll – come visit when our quest is over!”

                “It would be a cause for celebration,” said Commander. He took Hero’s hand with a smile – he was probably thinking of the excitement most of the village, and especially the children, would get out of such a band of heroes visiting.

                “Then we shall!” said Hero enthusiastically. He gave Commander’s hand and firm shake and then released his hand. “Well, goodb-“ he began, only to be interrupted by a smoke ring slapping into the side of his face. It exploded into a large cloud, and made Hero cough. Huh, thought Protagonist, so it’s not always breathable.

                “Forgetting something?” asked Witch, pointedly.

                “Oh, yes! Protagonist, you fought well today. Would you care to join us on our journey? Witch thinks you’ll accept for some reason,” said Hero.

                Taken by surprise, Protagonist looked to Commander. “We’ve done what we came to do,” he said, “so It’s up to you.”

                “Protagonist?” said Spouse. He’d been sitting quietly beside her on horseback, waiting until the two groups split up to chat.

                “Um,” said Protagonist. “Do you mind, Spouse?”

                Spouse looked right at her. It was one of the few times he ever had; and it made her feel highly conflicted. After a little while, he said, “If you love them let them fly.” He sounded kind of sad.

                Protagonist looked over at Hero. “Sure,” she said, “why not.”