That’s How That Works For You?

That’s How That Works For You?

                “Congratulations Dytja! I’m pregnant!” said the man.

                “What?” said Dytja.

                The man didn’t respond, instead choosing to smile happily at Dytja. Well, she thought the being was a man – they certainly looked like one, spoke like one, used male pronouns to refer to themself… But they weren’t human, and nonhumans were usually pretty strange. Dytja was a good example herself.

                “Aren’t you male?” asked Dytja.

                “Well, yes,” he replied. “But for my race that really just means I can only breed with beings that are ‘female’. My race will always bear the resulting child – if I breed within my race both of us will become with child.”

                “But… How did you get pregnant?” asked Dytja. Even though she asked, she was pretty sure she knew what the answer was going to be. The man had been attempting to get touchy for a few days before she’d eventually agreed to give him a high-five (in celebration of her cleaning up a pretty nasty magical mess).

                “I absorbed some of your essence! My race can do so through any skin contact. So when we high-fived a few days ago I absorbed some and now I’m pregnant!” the man said with a smile.

                Dytja sighed. “I figured as much. And it worked with me?” she asked.

                “Yes! I’m very pleased. Me being pregnant means our makeups are compatible enough for a child to be possible! You see, I was so sad to hear that you could not bear children yourself, so I decided to help out. The little darling should pop out in about twenty months,” the man explained, his grin never once leaving his face.

                “What gave you the idea that I would like to have a child? I have no impulse or ability to breed, care for offspring, or even grow attached to offspring – my kind is made, not born. Well, born in a sense, but not born from others of our kind. And I had no ‘childhood’,” said Dytja.

                “Oh. Oh dear, I didn’t really think about it like that. Humans like to have children too, so I assumed all beings did. I guess my species have lots of kids and love kids a lot and I’m sorry Dytja,” said the man.

                “I… Guess I don’t mind, but it would have been nice to be asked first,” said Dytja. The man looked chastened, and started leaning his weight from one foot to the other while frowning. It was kind of cute, like a kid caught sticking his hand in the cookie jar.

After a thoughtful pause Dytja said, “What will the kid be like, anyway?”

“Oh! They’ll be a mix of you and me, so maybe they’ll breed like my race and have your blood or have my hair type and they could be a boy or a girl I think and-“ babbled the man until Dytja interrupted him.

“You don’t have a clear idea at all, do you,” she said, flatly.

“Well, um, no. But they’ll be like us! That’s how children work,” said the man.

Dytja gave him a quizzical look, and sighed again. “You’re willing to take care of them until they are fully grown, yes?” she asked.

“Of course! But, you won’t stay?” he said, pleading and misting up a little.

“No. I’m a wandering adventurer, and my work here is done. It’s been done since the event we high-fived for, for that matter, but at least I know why you’ve been following me. Don’t screw the kid up,” said Dytja.

“Buh-bye then,” said the man, waving sadly.

“Farewell,” replied Dytja.

The man kept waving as she walked off into the distance, then watching her until she disappeared from sight.

Dytja spent a few minutes grumbling incoherently about annoying strange magic beings and overly needy people, before focusing on the road ahead. It was much more important to her than wasting time on pointless things.